Responding to Diet Talk During the Holidays
The holiday season can be a time of year that is filled with fun events and celebration but often times diet talk takes a seat at the table. While we may not be able to avoid diet talk completely during the holidays, showing up prepared with a few plans in place can be helpful for a bright and merry season.
Excuse yourself from the situation
Remember that you do not have to partake in any conversation that feels uncomfortable or does not align with your own boundaries and values. If Aunt Pam starts talking about her latest diet, you are allowed to remove yourself from that conversation. This can look like:
“I’m going to run to the restroom. Be back in a bit.”
“It was nice talking with you. I just saw someone I know walk in and I should go over and say hi.”
“I’m going to step outside for a minute for some fresh air.”
Speak up and offer some education
Diet culture is so normalized in our society that many people don’t realize that by engaging in this type of conversation, they may actually be causing harm. They may not be aware of the dangers of dieting. If you feel comfortable doing so, you can offer a couple of tidbits of wisdom from your own experience of letting go of dieting and diet culture. You never know what might stick with people after you’ve parted ways. For example:
“We don’t need to earn our food. Bodies don’t work that way.”
“It’s helpful for me not to think of foods as good or bad. It’s all nourishment for my body and no one food can make me healthy or unhealthy.”
“I’m working on listening to my body more and choosing food and exercise that feel good, instead of focusing on numbers.”
Change the subject
There are so many more interesting things to talk about besides diets! And you’re most likely not the only one who’s fed up with diet talk. Diet talk is boring! People are interesting, and there are much better ways to get to know someone. Here are a few examples:
“Hey that makes me think of this movie I saw last week. Have you seen it or any other good movies lately?”
“Oh by the way, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about the plans for ____ coming up. Do you want to coordinate on that?”
“How’s school/work/that hobby going for you these days?”
Say nothing/don’t engage
You’re not obligated to participate in diet talk. You do not have to engage. If you think the conversation will pass and you are comfortable staying where you are, you can just wait for a new topic to come up. Not saying anything can also send the message that you’re not interested in participating in that kind of talk and don’t support it.
Lean into your support system
If you are attending a gathering with someone who has been a part of your recovery, talk about cope ahead strategies with them before heading to the event. You can even come up with a “code word” for when you are needing to take a break or feeling overwhelmed so that support system knows maybe it’s time to step outside or even head out for the evening. Having extra support from those around us during this time that support our recovery can be helpful.
A few helpful things to remember:
It’s ok to not know what to say or to not have the “perfect” response lined up.
You’re not obligated to share exactly why you don’t want to talk about diets, exercise, or weight.
It’s not your job or responsibility to change anyone’s mind or behavior.
We can’t control what other people say but we can control how we respond to other people.
Food comments from other people often reflect their own thoughts and fears about food and their body and have little (if at all) to do with you.
It can be helpful to discuss this with your dietitian or therapist if you have a situation coming up where you anticipate a lot of diet talk. Your responses may look different each time depending on your emotional state, the timing, the people, and/or the situation. Remember that you deserve to have a peaceful relationship with food and with your body that does not involve dieting.
Interested in learning more about giving up diet culture, embracing intuitive eating, and making peace with food? We’d love to work with you! You can find our contact info here.