What Is Diet Talk & How To Respond
Diet culture is nearly impossible to avoid. It’s on the news, all over social media, at work or school, at the gym, and even in our own homes around friends and family. You may have seen an increase in diet culture messages over the past year with quarantine and the COVID-19 pandemic. What has stood out to me has been the talk of the “Quarantine 15”- the supposed weight gain that has occurred during the past year as we’ve been thrown out of our usual routines and patterns. It’s become normal to have this be the topic of conversation.
Diet talk is any kind of talk centered around dieting, food rules or restriction, diet trends, weight control, body bashing, or the like. It reinforces the idea that smaller bodies are “better”, more desirable, and/or worthier than others. Diet talk usually encourages negative feelings about one’s body and drives the desire to be thinner. Even comments that are meant to be positive, such as “you look great, like you’ve lost weight” or “I wish I could eat whatever I wanted and still be skinny like you” are harmful. Even though on the surface these may seem harmless, or even good, they reinforce the idea that one type of body (thin, small) is acceptable and others are not. These comments can also cause people to believe that they must maintain a thin body or always strive for thinness in order to be praised, loved, or accepted.
All this diet talk, while it can seem harmless, is actually very dangerous. Diets are directly associated with the development of eating disorders, especially in teens. In a study of 14 and 15-year olds, dieting was the most important predictor of developing an eating disorder compared to those who did not diet. And even in the midst of all this diet culture and diet talk, diets don’t work. In fact, 95% of all dieters will regain the weight they lost in 5 years. Studies have shown that dieting is also associated with increased rates of binge eating.
And yet despite all this, diet talk is still everywhere because it’s been normalized by our culture. It’s become a way to socialize and to bond with others. It’s so common that it can be really tough to know how to navigate. So, what can we do when diet talk comes up?
Excuse yourself from the situation
You have a right to set boundaries for yourself around your recovery, relationship with food, your body, and your experiences. If someone in a social setting, like a party, at dinner, or at work starts talking about their latest diet, you are allowed to remove yourself from that conversation. For example:
“I’m going to run to the restroom. Be back in a bit.”
“It was nice talking with you. I just saw someone I know walk in and I should go over and say hi.”
“I’m going to step outside for a minute for some fresh air.”
Speak up and offer some education
Many people don’t know about the dangers of dieting and the harm that diet talk can cause. If you feel comfortable doing so, you can offer a couple of tidbits of wisdom from your own experience of letting go of dieting and diet culture. You never know what might stick with people after you’ve parted ways. For example:
“We don’t need to earn our food. Bodies don’t work that way.”
“It’s helpful for me not to think of foods as good or bad. It’s all nourishment for my body and no one food can make me healthy or unhealthy.”
“I’m working on listening to my body more and choosing food and exercise that feel good, instead of focusing on numbers.”
Change the subject
You’re surely not the only one who’s fed up with diet talk and doesn’t feel good talking about it all the time. Diet talk is boring! People are interesting, and there are much better ways to get to know someone. For example:
“Hey that makes me think of this movie I saw last week. Have you seen it or any other good movies lately?”
“Oh by the way, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about the plans for ____ coming up. Do you want to coordinate on that?”
“How’s school/work/that hobby going for you these days?”
Say nothing/don’t engage
You’re not obligated to participate in diet talk. You do not have to engage. If you think the conversation will pass and you are comfortable staying where you are, you can just wait for a new topic to come up. Not saying anything can also send the message that you’re not interested in participating in that kind of talk and don’t support it.
A few helpful things to remember:
It’s ok to not know what to say or to not have the “perfect” response lined up.
You’re not obligated to share exactly why you don’t want to talk about diets, exercise, or weight.
It’s not your job or responsibility to change anyone’s mind or behavior.
You are not a sponge. Just because someone feels strongly about their latest diet or weight loss does not mean that you have to listen or absorb those beliefs for yourself.
Food comments from other people often reflect their own thoughts and fears about food and their body and have little (if at all) to do with you.
It can be helpful to make a cope-ahead plan with your dietitian or therapist if you have a situation coming up where you anticipate a lot of diet talk. Your responses may look different each time depending on your emotional state, the timing, the people, and/or the situation. Remember that you deserve to have a peaceful relationship with food and with your body that does not involve dieting.
Interested in learning more about giving up diet culture, embracing intuitive eating, and making peace with food? We’d love to work with you! You can find our contact info here.